Fucktards would inhabit both sides of the argument…

Take a look at the picture above.  What do you see?  I see at least seven white people sitting together on a Korean subway, three of them are sitting on the floor of the subway (clearly blocking the walkway) playing some manner of card game, and six of them are holding booze in different sized containers.  Does that gel with what you saw?  Approximately at least?  Now, take a look at this link here, and have a read of the translated version of the original ‘article’ that appeared at “OhMyNews” (more of a blog site than a legitimate news source).

Did you enjoy that?  Cracking read isn’t it?  Firstly I will say this; the people in the picture above are fucktards.  Total fucktards.  I mean, this has nothing to do with being in Korea.  If you showed me a picture of a train in Melbourne and it had a bunch of punters taking up the floorspace with their getting pissed and playing card games I would call them fucktards.  If you told me that they were ‘singing loudly’ on the train…I would still call them fucktards (unless they were on their way to the footy, in which case having a couple of fucking drinks and singing the odd tune is alright, but they should get off the fucking floor).  They’re fucktards for a host of reasons, not least of which is that you would have to be a fucktard of the highest order to choose to sit on the floor of a subway in Korea.  I mean, the amount of spitting, vomiting, pissing and assorted filthy shit that I have seen expelled upon the floor of the subways here, it’s the last place that I would park my fat arse (much less the playing cards that would soon return to my soft, chubby hands).  Fuck that.  They’re rude, they’re showing no respect, they’re fucktards.  Period.

So, that’s the end of that?  No.  No it isn’t.  Do you know who else is a fucktard?  Han Jeong-hyeon is a fucktard.  I mean that in the nicest possible way.  I mean, a lot of the things that shit me about the article are probably tricks of interpretation.  That thing where someone chooses a word that resembles the Korean word and makes the sentence sound harsh or weird (like the word ‘louts’ in the headline…I mean…they were noisily playing cards and drinking…they weren’t really being ‘louts’ though were they?) tone.  However, there are other things that make me think that Han Jeong-Hyeon is a fucktard.  Firstly, he feels the need to mention that he was going to see a movie with a student that he was tutoring. I mean, hold the fucking press!  What’s the point of mentioning that?  Well, it’s clearly that fucktard ‘journalism’ thing where we (the moronic fucktard reader) are supposed to instantly recognise that Han is a ‘nice guy’ who was just putting in the extra hours with a student that he was taking care of.  He’s clearly the victim of this tale.  Poor Han.  A fella like him could easily be a pussy hound, but instead of devoting his life to the soft and suptle allure of bird flesh, he is taking a student to see a movie.  Now, an important thing to note here is that the original article doesn’t say whether Han is a bird or a reverse bird.  But, let’s be fair here, only a dude would be stupid enough to ‘hear a racket’ and ‘approach the source’.  Women aren’t that fucked in the head!

Now, it also kind of shits me how Han describes the details of what happened, in a manner that contradicts what we can see in the picture.  I mean, Han says that “Three or four of them were sitting on the car floor…” when we can see clearly in the picture that three people are on the floor.  Han then goes on to say that “There (sic) bags and stuff were on their seats.”  I mean, take a look at the picture.  One bird has her bags and shit on the seat behind her.  One. Yeah, she’s a fucktard for doing that.  I agree with that entirely, but Han is taking the piss with this half arsed interpretation of events.  I mean, only the most semi-retarded fucktard would not be able to look at the photo and know that Han is pulling his pudding all over this.

Now, the second paragraph is where Han enters my Fucktard Hall Of Fame. “What made Han even angrier was that the passengers were just watching quietly. Would they have simply stood there if they’d been Korean? he asked”.  Han, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that Korean’s usually do speak up about this sort of shit.  I’ve been told off for talking on my phone, yelled out for laughing and abused and almost fought for speaking English at a low volume with a Korean girl.  Don’t worry.  There are enough ‘citizen police’ who are willing to step in and have a go for almost any reason, Korean or foreign or anything else!  So, relax the sacks buddy! 

Han’s basic assumption is that everyone on the train has pussied out of confronting these fucktards because they can not speak English.  It has been established that Citizen Han has lived in Canada for five years…and Han believes that is someone were to say something to the ‘louts’ the situation would end…but instead of doing that Han calls the ‘train emergency centre.’  What a fucktard!  Han.  Han.  Han.  People drinking some beer and playing cards on the floor of the train is probably annoying…but an emergency?  You puddle of wank!  An emergency?  I can’t imagine why the people at thetrain emergency centre told you to go and get fucked.  They must be out of their fucking minds.  They didn’t even record the call!  Sounds fishy doesn’t it?  I mean, they must only record the calls that relate to legitimate emergencies!  The cunts!

So…having been told to fuck off by the ‘emergency centre’ Han confronts the ‘louts’ directly…all of them except for one stopped being fucktards.  So, we have to ask, why did Han wait so long to ‘ask them what the hell they were doing’?  Is it possible that he was too busy taking sneaky, pervy, creepy little cellphone pictures of the birds to have the balls to go and have a chat with them?  Is it possible that Han isn’t quite the Chuck Norris figure that he sets himself up as?  I think it’s even more likely that Han never said a single fucking word, but, being a keyboard warrior, he felt the need to add a detail or two so that people wouldn’t know he was a complete fucking pussy. 

Han, you’re a fucktard.  People drinking, singing songs, and playing poker whilst blocking the train by sitting on the floor, you’re all fucktards.

Oh, and lest anyone suggest that I am a keyboard warrior, Han, if you’re reading this, I would be happy to meet for a chat, or twelve rounds in the octagon, jsut contact me via the links above.  Tough guy!

Oh, and one more thing Han, if you’re such a model fucking citizen, how about being less of a fucking cunt, and studying in the country that you love so much?  I mean, how about staying in Korea and giving a little back instead of just taking, taking, taking?  You fucktard!